2008 Woodie Awards
No laughing matter: everyday ignorance
Donald Woodard
Issue date: 11/25/05 Section: Opinions
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In this issue's installment of "No Laughing Matter," I have decided that instead of ranting on some mind-numbing subject that really doesn't matter but that I can make funny. Instead, I will talk about a truly important topic: myself.
This story features a very uncomfortable but funny tale of an experience that I had while working at the greatest workplace in the world: the International Terminal Five at O'Hare International Airport on the far northwest side of Chicago.
The story features myself, several co-workers, and a certain rap superstar. Some names have been changed. Not to protect the identities of those involved, but because I can't remember them all… except for the rap superstar. In his case, I just don't want to be sued or made fun of again. We will just refer to him as Telly.
It was a typical day at work. I had started my shift that day at 11 so by the time the altercation happened, which was around three, I was perfectly situated behind my register in the main store hoping to God that a meteor would smash into Chicago, instantly killing myself and everyone else just so I would not have to deal with another British Airways customer trying to receive money back from the food vouchers that his airline gave him.
At around three, one of my female co-workers barrelled into the store, shouting in her west side accent, "oh my God, guess who I just saw on the train coming to the terminal."
I immediately asked her who, hoping it was actually someone who mattered to me like John Stamos, the lady from "The Facts of Life," or Lou Diamond Phillips, or as I like to refer to him, "The Talent."
She immediately corrected me in her typical west side accent yelling, "Hell naw. I just saw Telly and the other one (refering to his partner who also happens to be a pretty well-known rap artist), and they are coming through the terminal."
As the news of his visit spread through the terminal, several of my female co-workers actually left their work stations with hopes of meeting the star.
This story features a very uncomfortable but funny tale of an experience that I had while working at the greatest workplace in the world: the International Terminal Five at O'Hare International Airport on the far northwest side of Chicago.
The story features myself, several co-workers, and a certain rap superstar. Some names have been changed. Not to protect the identities of those involved, but because I can't remember them all… except for the rap superstar. In his case, I just don't want to be sued or made fun of again. We will just refer to him as Telly.
It was a typical day at work. I had started my shift that day at 11 so by the time the altercation happened, which was around three, I was perfectly situated behind my register in the main store hoping to God that a meteor would smash into Chicago, instantly killing myself and everyone else just so I would not have to deal with another British Airways customer trying to receive money back from the food vouchers that his airline gave him.
At around three, one of my female co-workers barrelled into the store, shouting in her west side accent, "oh my God, guess who I just saw on the train coming to the terminal."
I immediately asked her who, hoping it was actually someone who mattered to me like John Stamos, the lady from "The Facts of Life," or Lou Diamond Phillips, or as I like to refer to him, "The Talent."
She immediately corrected me in her typical west side accent yelling, "Hell naw. I just saw Telly and the other one (refering to his partner who also happens to be a pretty well-known rap artist), and they are coming through the terminal."
As the news of his visit spread through the terminal, several of my female co-workers actually left their work stations with hopes of meeting the star.
